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You Can't Pick Your Family
As the old saying goes, we can pick our partners and friends, but we can’t pick our family. We are given that and not based on any obvious compatibility or lack thereof. As some say, “we are stuck with our family, for better or for worse, just like a marriage.” Many marriages today are not even life long, but for most of us our family relationships indeed last our entire lives. They don’t go away and divorce is not an option. Blood is still thicker than water. And many of these family relationships are unexamined.
Our parents have just always been there, before we ever existed, and the same goes for our older brothers and sisters. We have never known a time when they were not with us. We don’t question these relationships and perhaps we have never even had the opportunity to consider what they really involve or are like. Hopefully, this report will help in this regard, for here astrology can offer us a second opinion on who our mothers, fathers, sisters, and brothers actually are and how we fit in with them.
The approach here is a simple one. For you, your mother, and your father there will be a description of what you each are like as an individual and then how each of you relate to one another. The same came also be done with sisters, brothers, and coworkers.
Natal StarType for Jennifer Gates
Here is another quite independent StarType, one with great mental powers, albeit folded in on themselves, and all converging to a single practical point, like a laser beam. Jennifer's mind always has a very practical focus that cuts through a problem like the tip of a blowtorch. Her very strong ability to think and focus tends to be somewhat inward oriented and almost recursive, in that her mind very much guides the hand that does the work, and with great precision.
As for relationships, Jennifer is pretty much of an independent nature, and her need for relationships is somewhat limited. She can take them or leave them, but when she is cooking on some project, she tends not to need them, and they seldom even come up on her radar screen. At other times, she runs around looking for a relationship, like she is missing something. The fact is Jennifer needs relationships once in a while, but mostly she is pretty much self complete and likes her independence.
Using the mind, a mind that is extremely organized, to accomplish very practical and down-to-earth goals is what is suggested in Jennifer's chart. In this case her mind is more inwardly directed, but still always very practical.To a great degree, here is real independence, but still Jennifer is in need of being better able to grasp the whole concepts, to get what can be called the 'Big Picture'. For this, the Grand Trine (#60) and Kite (#5) StarTypes are a perfect fit to better gain perspective.As for other blue-bordered cards, Jennifer would have the best chance of a stable relationship with any of the blue-bordered cards that have what is called a Grand Trine in them, which is an equal-sided green triangle.
The Father
It is true that Mother’s Day is a full-blown event and father’s day passes a little more quickly and with less fanfare, at least where I live. Yet none of us would be here if it was not for our father and for most of us his approval and blessing is important to us. Throughout history fathers have traditionally been the providers and protectors of the family and, while that may be shifting in modern times, it still remains the case in most societies. Especially for guys, dad is a towering influence in our lives, and I imagine daughters feel the same way.
And yet they are people just like us. Beyond the father image is a person and how that person meshes with your person is very important and worth looking at in some detail. This next section presents dad as the person he is beyond being just our father. And it goes on to describe how dad interfaces with you, how the two of you do or do not get along on a personal level, where you can work together and where you will discover differences.
The Father's Natal StarType
Bill likes attention and probably demands (and usually gets) lots of it. Whatever is going on, he tends to gravitate to the center of any group, where the action is at - the life of the party. This is because at heart he is warm and charismatic, most definitely a touchy-feeling sort of person. People like him and like to be around him. Bill is probably in-demand for dinner dates and parties. Why? Because he is fun!Sometimes Bill feels like he has to protect his privacy and does not like being hemmed in and pinned down by claustrophobic situations.
Bill is used to being the center of attention, and in most relationships he tends to take on the role of the loved one, allowing (and preferring) to let others look after him, even dote on him. This is not arrogance, but quite natural.
Bill, an example of the T-Square type, has excellent intuition, good hunches, and is able to feel things out on a practical level. Because he is so 'in touch' and involved (deep in there), he sometimes has trouble getting the big picture, and can't see the forest because of the trees. Bill can benefit from StarTypes that are less involved, run a little cooler, and stand a little farther back from the action. Examples of good advisers include many of the GREEN BORDER card types, with the label "The Lover" as a relationship type. When checking for relationships, look for those, but there are others. Look for the Grand Trine pattern, which is the large green triangle.As for the blue-bordered cards, not shown here, keep in mind that they have the qualities of both the red-bordered and the green-bordered cards within their makeup. When relating to them, Bill will want to invoke the care-giving and advice giving aspect of them. Call out the lover in these StarTypes, with Bill being the loved one that they care for.
Jennifer's Relationship with Dad
here could well be more than just a little push and shove with this combination, for both father and daughter have a stubborn streak a mile long. In fact, chart-wise, the most practical solution involves Dad, who is generally more aware than Jennifer of what is going on around him, reaching out to Jennifer as a guide and sharing her counsel.
Both Jennifer and her father like people, but Jennifer is a real "people" person. She thrives on it and always manages to end up as the center of attention in a group. Dad can't keep up with Jennifer socially, and generally is more mental and reflective by nature. Jennifer tends to act first and think later, which does not always serve her well, so Dad's advice and awareness are something she really needs.
Yet both these two can fall into bumping heads, with Jennifer usually the winner when this happens. So the "happy medium" as it is called involves Jennifer letting her Dad help and guide her and Jennifer affirming that she needs and wants that help.
The Mother
Everybody has one, and there is no getting around that fact. Mom is a huge factor in all our lives, an influence bigger than life itself. It can be hard to even imagine your mother as a person like yourself. There is no one else who has give you life, carried you for nine months, birthed you, fed and cleaned, and cared for you like no other until you were old enough to care for yourself. I am not saying that all moms are perfect, just that we each get only one of them and they loved us enough to get us started and on our way.
This does not mean that we don’t have a person-to-person relationship with our mother, complete with all the problems of any relationship, just as with anyone else, but to say that this particular relationship is very important to us. Each of us wants our mother’s blessing. This next section is about getting to know mom as a person, someone beyond just being your mother. What is mom all about, outside of being your mother? How do the two of you fit together as persons? Where is the give and take? Who has what talents? This is what this section is all about.
The Mother's Natal StarType
Melinda's StarType is very rare and very gifted at that, having both very high-level management skills and built-in savvy and a profound practical sense. It does not get much more gifted than this. She is independent too. She does not need relationships to complete herself, which does not mean to suggest that she does not have and enjoy them; just that she does not depend on them as much as most people do.This is a very complete StarType, as mentioned, having extreme mental and care giving faculties (great compassion), plus the warmth, people skills, and practical sense of how to get things done. Working together, these qualities are unbeatable -- the whole enchilada, the most comprehensive vision, brought to bear in the most seminal way in the practical world. Very rare and very auspicious.
As for relationships, Melinda may enjoy them, but she probably does not depend on them. Others may find her more to-herself than they might like - a breed apart. She can take on different roles in a relationship, depending on the StarType of the partner, but it may be hard to fit into a normal relationship.
Pretty much self-sufficient. Melinda has it all, and of course has much to offer others, partners or otherwise, but don't expect a lot in return.
Jennifer's Relationship with Mom
Mom will have a strong influence on Jennifer because (astrologically speaking) she is a more power-packed version of the same talents. And while there are real differences, they do both share the gift of gab and the ability to communicate to one another with relative ease.
Both have good mental abilities, coupled with practical know-how and the common sense to know just how to put their ideas to work. Jennifer is kind of a smaller version of Mom but still cut from the same template. Socially, they are pretty much identical in form and punch, in that both are comfortable in a crowd, know how to work it, and crave the attention it can sometimes bring. Where they differ the most is more in the mental department, where Mom has very strong conceptual abilities and a more dynamic way of thinking overall.
Jennifer is more middle-of-the-road when it comes to using her mind. Both are independent types, mostly self-absorbed and busy about themselves. Neither will win awards for sensitivity or over-concern for others.
Father and Mother's Relationship
Here is a relationship with some real chemistry, but it may at times be chemistry of the fiery kind, with more than a little pushing and shoving. Let me explain. Bill is naturally independent. Interdependence may be an unknown word to him and "needy" has never reached his radar. Yet, Melinda is quite "needy" in that she needs to be in a relationship, and interdependence is just a natural way of life to her. She naturally wants to be the "Loved One" in the relationship, the one who is cared for, and of course the center of attention. Melinda probably really wants this to happen, but it is questionable if Bill could feel the same.
Melinda is capable of giving her that attention, and if that happens, the natural chemistry can take over. But, Bill also is used to getting a fair amount of attention himself, and that is where the problem can be. If Melinda pulls away to herself, takes too much of the attention, then Melinda will feel hurt and left out. There you have it.
That concludes this reading. We hope you have enjoyed it. I have found for myself that getting a handle on my own family members has been very helpful, offering insights into those close to me that I never even thought about or took time to examine. In some cases, I have found that these astrological insights have led me to change the way I approach and relate to some of my siblings, and with good results. I wish the same for you.
Michael Erlewine
